Acceptance is resignation? –
In the process of personal growth and any kind of work on oneself, one of the most frequently heard concepts is “accept”.
In fact, everything revolves around this concept, which is as simple as it is difficult to put into practice.
A lot of confusion revolves around what acceptance really means, to the point that there are disparate reactions when it is mentioned.
From anger, rejection, arrogance (such as “What nonsense!”), to the awareness of how necessary but difficult it is to put this procedure into practice and the desire to succeed.
Etymology can give us a clue: the word acceptance derives from the Latin “accìpere”, with the meaning of “intention to take or to consent to a proposal, to welcome willingly”. It can be summed up as affirmative will that the addressee of the offer addresses to the offeror.
In the case of difficult events (or problems to be faced), life is the proponent; sometimes, however, the proposer is a specific person. In everyday life we are used to hearing it in different situations: accepting a request, a proposal, a gift, a contractual condition, the existence of something, acceptance of luggage and so on.
And so far it’s easy, and often even pleasant. The problem arises when it comes to accepting something more complex: the end of a story, an unwanted change, the end of any kind, including death, and so on.
While the word resignationderiving from the Latin “resignare”, has the meaning of “renounce, deliver, dissolve, abandon, conform to the wishes of others, but reluctantly”: rto pronounce, to deliver one’s will.
It is defined as the disposition of one who consciously adapts to a state of pain or misfortune, of suffering, the disposition of the soul to accept without reacting facts that appear inevitable, independent of one’s will.
This examination already gives us a clearer idea of the difference between two apparently similar concepts, if not the same for some.
Let’s summarize the differences more specifically:
- Acceptance is an active attitude, resignation is a passive attitude – accepting means taking things as they are at the moment which automatically predisposes one to be oriented towards understanding what is the best thing to do (or even not to do); resigning means giving up anything, deeming any favorable change impossible, which automatically predisposes to any type of proactivity;
- Acceptance is an attitude of openness, resignation is an attitude of closure – when we welcome what happens to us even when it is not pleasant, we are also open to possible solutions within that situation; when we welcome what happens to us reluctantly, we fail to recognize the possibilities that exist in that situation;
- Acceptance presupposes personal power and responsibility, resignation victimhood – accepting the situation as it is at the moment implies awareness of many things: of the fact that everything is constantly changing, that sometimes obstacles protect us from something we don’t know yet or train us for something that awaits us but we don’t know it yet , that perhaps we need to strengthen trust, and so on, always with a view to being able to face both the present and the future, even if it may be difficult; resigning implies choosing the easiest path: that of giving responsibility for the situation (and its outcome) or for one’s life to something or someone else;
- Acceptance experiences change as an opportunity for improvement, resignation experiences change as degeneration – if we accept, we implicitly know that we will emerge transformed for the better, even if this should imply the passage through pain; resignation is basking in pain without wanting to transform it into something positive. Empowerment starts with acceptance, and moving from an attitude of resignation to that of acceptance is already empowerment;
- Acceptance is flowing with life, resignation is resisting the flow of life – life has an unpredictable course, with ups and downs, with joys and pains, moments of frustration and moments of glory, demanding that life only goes according to our expectations, otherwise we don’t participate is a sort of rather immature blackmail: ” If you, life, don’t do as I say, I won’t play.”
And you, what relationship do you have towards acceptance? Can you accept or are you inclined to resignation? Share in the comments!