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Impostor syndrome is a psychological term used to define a pattern of self-sabotaging behavior, in which people doubt themselves, their abilities, their achievements and feel like they don’t deserve success.
1. IMPOSTER SYNDROME OR INABILITY TO ACCEPT YOUR OWN RESULTS
An impostor is someone who pretends to be another person. However, impostor syndrome is like constantly living with two personalities inside us, which never stops throwing doubts and fears at us, destroying our value; he makes us feel wrong, as well as making us fear that someone will discover us.
One of the problems with this syndrome is the inability to internalize the results. If you do something wrong, that’s just the evidence you need to confirm your destructive theory. But if you do something good, maybe it was by chance or luck.
Many times I have listened to people who, after a long commitment and hard work to achieve their goals, when faced with the result achieved, said: “I was lucky!”.
In many moments when we are faced with important decisions, personal and professional challenges, we feel withdrawn by our stingy thoughts about ourselves. We even come to think that someone like us cannot succeed, is not valid or sufficient to face that challenge.
That impostor that lives inside us is the culprit that prevents us from progressing, from sharing ideas, from making us feel undeserving of a promotion or from starting a project. Let’s move forward with the handbrake on!!!
▶ One of the roots of impostor syndrome is that we think everything happens only to us!
We come to think that everyone else is more valid and that if they really discover our doubts, our fears, our “alleged” true personality, they will discover that we are cheaters.
We know ourselves internally with all our supposed defects; to others, only externally, only for what we see, tell us or appear to us. What amounts to a distorted and incomplete version.
2. IS IT DIFFICULT TO ACCEPT A COMPLIMENT? MAYBE IT’S THE IMPOSTOR IN YOU THAT DOESN’T FEEL HE DESERVES IT
Tremendous selfishness and perfectionism are close friends of impostor syndrome. So you have to abandon the need for “perfection” because it doesn’t exist, and it only guarantees frustration and suffering. Seek excellence, improvement, not perfection.
▶ How to overcome impostor syndrome
To overcome it, it is essential to develop our emotional intelligence, raise our level of consciousness about our thoughts and feelings. This way you will be able to realize the moment in which this syndrome reappears, making you feel smaller and/or robbing you of a new opportunity (adding unwanted burdens to your life).
You have to understand it, accept it, know that it exists, that it is there, that it will appear from time to time. Recognizing your fears is the first step to facing them, weakening them and overcoming them. Ignorance enslaves us, while understanding frees us: we can only change what we understand.
To overcome this internal struggle, it is essential to work on self-esteem, confidence and acceptance. The latter is a fundamental factor: it is giving yourself permission to be yourself and not having to be in any other way, respecting and loving yourself, feeling enough.
Make a list of your successes, the things you have overcome, recognize your positive qualities because you definitely have them.
See every failure as a great life lesson, not as something to beat yourself up with, but as a valuable learning.
We all make mistakes, we have all failed – I have at least a couple of times -, but one of the secrets of life is learning to transform defeats into lessons for overcoming.
Stop comparing yourself, because we tend to compare our flaws with the supposed virtues of others, and in that comparison we always lose. Remember that others have our demons too: you do NOT have the exclusivity of fears and doubts, we all have them.
You are better than you think. So he accepts yourself, appreciates yourself and loves yourself because you are a person who deserves the best.
Originally posted 2023-09-29 21:47:36.
