Be kind to yourself

We would all like to be treated kindly.

From anyone we meet in our daily lives, including those unknown prefects we pass in the supermarket, but above all from the people who are close to us (partners, family members, friends, work colleagues, etc.).

But this common desire is not so commonly fulfilled (after all, if it were fulfilled, it would not be a wish).

How come?

Where did the beginning end?Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”?

This principle, also called the “Golden Rule” is actually one of the most important messages of Jesus recorded in the Bible.

But, outside of religious references, it is simple common sense. And also the rule of anyone engaged in personal growth or spiritual work: first give to others what you would like to receive.

Here’s where the problem falls: what if those “others” actually concern me? That is, what if I’m the person to give to?

This is a detail that often escapes us.

After all, like all the things that are “under our noses”.

And here we come to a question for reflection: Is it possible to be truly kind to others if we are not kind to ourselves?

I mean above all authentic kindness, we know how much “formal” kindness (or hypocritical, as some like to define it) there is around, even if that is better than ungainly rudeness.

It is essential to train ourselves to observe how we are treating ourselves.

Because most of the time we are not aware of it.

And, we now know, what we are not aware of we cannot change.

Let’s see 5 ways to be kind to yourself:

1. Recognize and respect your feelings

This means being empathetic with yourself: it is not easy to be empathetic with others, and it is not easy with us either.

We easily neglect to admit how we felt in a certain situation (for many different and sometimes unthinkable reasons), we deny ourselves feeling certain emotions and by repressing them we induce ourselves to create stress of different intensity.

To then extend the stress to those around us and, last but not least, expect others to give us what we have denied ourselves. A nice puzzle!

2. Recognize and respect your own needs

If I need to rest, it’s a kind act to allow myself that instead of cleaning the house, to go out only because someone asked me to and I don’t want to disappoint them with a “no,” or to force myself to do extra work at home to get a praise from the boss.

3. Use only kind words to yourself

How many of us notice when we are using “bad” language when speaking to ourselves or even out loud? “I’m a wreck!”, “How stupid I am!”, “I’m ugly!” and so on. Just a figure of speech?

Let’s try to imagine how we would feel if someone else addressed the same phrases to us… in some cases perhaps we would even have filed a complaint.

4. Be grateful to yourself

We more easily express gratitude towards others than towards ourselves. But, let’s try! Have you ever thought what it would be like if I said a simple: “Thank you for existing”?

5. Pay attention to yourself

Hand on heart: how often are we distracted with ourselves? We know how to answer the point-blank question like: “What do you want for your birthday?” or: “What would make you happy right now?”. Attention is love.

And you, how do you deal with kindness towards the most important person in your life: you? Tell me in the comments!